Ring of Fear (A Dangerous Assignment)

Episode 2 - March 11, 1982
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Leslie Nielsen [Detective Frank Drebbin]
Alan North [Captain Ed Hocken]
Rex Hamilton [Abraham Lincoln]
Ed Williams [Ted Olson]
William Duell [Johnny the snitch]
Peter Lupus [Norberg]
Georg Stanford Brown [himself]
Rudy Solari [Martin]
Patrick St Esprit [Buddy]
Tessa Richarde [Mary]
Floyd Levine [Cooper]
Irwin Keyes [Luca]
Grand Bush [the champ]
Script: Tino Insana, Robert Wuhl
Director: Joe Dante
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Transcribed by: Kenneth Kirkland
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INTERIOR OF ARENA DURING BOXING MATCH
REFEREE: Break it up! C'mon!
FIGHTERS GO TO THEIR CORNERS. CROWD BOOS.
COOPER: Okay, kid. When we get the "high" sign from Martin, then you take the dive.
MARTIN NODS. A SCUBA DIVER FLOPS BACKWARD OFF OF THE BLEACHERS. BELL RINGS TO START THE NEXT ROUND.
SCHULTZ HITS HIS OPPONENT, WHO LOOKS SURPRISED. HE SHAKES OFF THE PUNCH AND CLOSES IN. SCHULTZ KNOCKS HIM DOWN.
REFEREE: Four! Five! Six! Seven!
SCHULTZ LOOKS OVER AT MARTIN, AND THEN BACK AT THE RING.
REFEREE: Eight! Nine! Ten! You're out!!
REFEREE RAISES SCHULTZ'S HAND. CROWD BOOS. MARTIN GETS UP TO LEAVE WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND AND BODYGUARD.
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INTERIOR OF BOXER'S DRESSING ROOM
MIKE SMILES AS HE UNTAPES HIS HAND.
COOPER: Mike, I think you made a big mistake.
SCHULTZ: Aw, Cooper. You worry too much.
COOPER PATS SCHULTZ ON THE SHOULDER
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INTERIOR OF CORRIDOR OUTSIDE THE DRESSING ROOM
GUARD: I'm sorry, no one's allowed inside.
ELDERLY LADY COMFORTS TWO CRYING CHILDREN.
GUARD: No, I'm sorry, that's the rules. That's the rules.
LADY AND CHILDREN TURN AND WALK AWAY.
COOPER EXITS DRESSING ROOM. A THUG WITH TWO BANDOLIERS, AN AXE AND A LIT BOMB APPROACHES. THE GUARD STOPS HIM.
GUARD: No entry.
THUG: Press!
THUG LEANS FORWARD TO SHOW PRESS PASS STUCK IN HAT BAND.
GUARD: Oh. Okay.
GUARD OPENS DOOR AND LETS THUG INSIDE.
GUNSHOTS, EXPLOSIONS AND SCREAMS ARE HEARD COMING FROM DRESSING ROOM. GUARD YAWNS.
THUG EMERGES FROM A SMOKE-FILLED DRESSING ROOM. HE WALKS AWAY, WHISTLING. GUARD LOOKS INSIDE DRESSING ROOM AND WINCES.
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EXTERIOR OF DREBBIN AT THE STEERING WHEEL OF HIS CAR
DREBBIN (voice over): My name is Sergeant Frank Drebbin, detective lieutenant, Police Squad, a special division of the police force. I'd just come from the stockyards. We'd gotten reports that hundreds of cows had been senselessly slaughtered in the area, but I couldn't find any evidence. I stopped off for a hamburger and checked in with headquarters. There'd been an apparent suicide. I went right to the scene. My boss was already there.
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INTERIOR OF CORRIDOR OUTSIDE THE DRESSING ROOM
DREBBIN APPROACHES
DREBBIN: Hey.
HOCKEN: Oh, hi, Frank.
DREBBIN: What's up?
HOCKEN: Uhh, guard discovered the body about an hour ago. Somebody went in here right before it happened, but the guard's got bad eyes and can't make an I.D.. Ehh, we're dusting for prints now.
HOCKEN OPENS DOOR
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INTERIOR OF BOXER'S DRESSING ROOM
HOCKEN AND DREBBIN ENTER DRESSING ROOM
DREBBIN: What happened?
HOCKEN: Kid named Mike Schultz. It's set up to look like suicide but I'm not so sure. Why would a kid who just scored the biggest victory of his career go out and commit suicide?
DREBBIN: Are you thinking murder?
HOCKEN: It could be.
DREBBIN: Anyone with Schultz after the fight?
HOCKEN: Just his manager.
DREBBIN: Who's that?
HOCKEN: Some Joe named Cooper.
DREBBIN: Who's this Joe Cooper?
HOCKEN: No, no, it's Sol Cooper. Manages half the boxers in town and they're all on the take.
DREBBIN: Want me to question him?
HOCKEN: No. No. No, Frank. No. We may be dealing with murder and corruption here. I want you to . . . go undercover.
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EXTERIOR OF A STREET SCENE
DREBBIN WALKS DOWN THE SIDEWALK AND ASCENDS A STAIRCASE AT THE CORNER
DREBBIN (voice over): I knew that Montague Martin was one of the few criminals who still tampered with the outcome of fights. My plan was to find a crooked fighter and straighten him out.
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INTERIOR OF JIM'S GYM
A BOXER JUMPS ROPE FOR TWO GIRLS. DREBBIN WALKS OVER TO A BOXER HITTING THE HEAVY BAG.
DREBBIN: Aren't you Buddy Briggs?
BRIGGS: Yeah.
DREBBIN: Too bad you lost your three fights.
BRIGGS: So I had some bad luck. So what?
DREBBIN: Well, maybe you don't have the right kind of management. Don't you think you should start thinking about that, Buddy?
BRIGGS: I make a pretty good living.
DREBBIN: Maybe you can make a better one, and a cleaner one. And a better one. Where's your manager?
BRIGGS: In the back.
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INTERIOR OF A SMOKY ROOM
FOUR MEN ARE PLAYING CARDS. DREBBIN ENTERS AND CLOSES THE DOOR BEHIND HIMSELF.
DREBBIN: One of you manage Buddy Briggs?
COOPER: Yeah.
DREBBIN: You've gotta be Cooper. I hear you own a piece of just about every boxer in town.
COOPER: Yeah, what's it to ya?
DREBBIN: I'm a manager and I want to take over Buddy Briggs' contract.
COOPER: What are you, some kind of wise guy?
DREBBIN: Yeah. I'm a wise guy. With a lot of long green.
PLAYER #1: You manage Lorne Greene?
COOPER: I'll trade Buddy for Lorne Greene.
DREBBIN: No, no. I mean I've got cash.
PLAYER #1: You manage Johnny Cash, too?
COOPER: Wait a minute. Who are you?
DREBBIN: Kelly. Bob Kelly.
DREBBIN TAKES OUT A ROLL OF CASH AND SETS IT ON THE TABLE.
DREBBIN: Mind if I sit in a few hands?
COOPER: Hey, your money's good here.
PLAYER #1: Goodyear? You've got the blimp, too?
DREBBIN SITS DOWN
DREBBIN (voice over): It didn't take long for me to see that the game was as crooked as Cooper's smile.
COOPER: Just you and me, Kelly.
COOPER TOSSES CHIPS INTO THE POT
COOPER: I raise you five hundred.
DREBBIN: Well, that's my kind of action. There's your five hundred.
DREBBIN TOSSES CHIPS INTO THE POT
DREBBIN: One grand more.
MONTAGE OF SEVERAL ROUNDS OF BETTING
COOPER: That's a lotta do-re-mi, Kelly. I'm outta cash. What about these?
COOPER TAKES OUT A PAIR OF FUZZY DICE.
DREBBIN: No dice. But there is something else I'm interested in.
COOPER: What's that?
DREBBIN: Buddy Briggs' contract.
COOPER: Alright, Kelly.
COOPER TOSSES A FOLDED PIECE OF PAPER INTO THE POT
COOPER: Whataya got?
DREBBIN: Full house, kings over.
DREBBIN STARTS TO RAKE IN THE POT
COOPER: Not so fast, Kelly. Straight beats a full house.
DREBBIN: No it doesn't. Straight beats three of a kind. Full house beats a straight.
PLAYER #1: Can a flush beat a straight?
PLAYER #2: A straight flush beats everything.
DREBBIN: Not a royal flush.
COOPER: Does a flush beat a full house.
PLAYER #2: Regular flush, or a straight flush.
PLAYER #1: A flush beats a straight.
DREBBIN: I've played a lot of poker. A full house beats a straight.
COOPER: Maybe so, Kelly. But four of us beats one of you.
THE FOUR PLAYERS STAND UP. DREBBIN STANDS UP AND PULLS HIS REVOLVER.
DREBBIN: Alright, I've got an ace in the hole. That makes me the winner. Buddy Briggs belongs to me now, but just to make it nice and legal, I brought along a bill of sale.
DREBBIN TAKES OUT A SHEET OF PAPER AND TOSSES IT ON THE TABLE.
DREBBIN: Sign it. You.
DREBBIN POINTS TO PLAYER #3.
DREBBIN: You witness it. You. Check for spelling errors. Alright Cooper.
DREBBIN TOSSES A CANVAS BAG ONTO THE TABLE
DREBBIN: Put that stuff in there.
PLAYER #1: How many "L"'s in legally?
COOPER: You may have a fighter, Kelly, but you'll never get a fight. We've got this town sewed up tighter than a floozy's skirt.
DREBBIN: We'll see about that, Cooper.
DREBBIN TAKES THE BILL OF SALE FROM PLAYER #1 AND STARTS TOWARD THE DOOR.
DREBBIN: Well, gentlemen. It's been a nice afternoon. I hope we can do it again some other time.
PLAYER #1: I'm free Wednesdays.
DREBBIN CLOSES THE DOOR BEHIND HIMSELF.
COOPER: This guy's more trouble that he's worth. I want him knocked off.
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EXTERIOR STREET SCENE
DREBBIN DRIVES UP AND CRASHES INTO THE BACK OF ANOTHER CAR AS HE PARKS.
DREBBIN (voice over): My plan was working. I was now Buddy Briggs' manager. But I still had no way to connect Cooper and Martin to the murder. I got a call from Olson. The lab had come up with something.
DREBBIN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND WALKS INTO A POLICE STATION.
DREBBIN (voice over): I got a call from Olson. The lab had come up with something.
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INTERIOR OF THE POLICE CRIME LAB
OLSON: So you see, Katie, when I throw this switch, the electrical current from the power source is able to continue its journey to its final destination. In our case, the light bulb.
KATIE: Gee!
OLSON: All set, then?
KATIE: Yes, sir, Mr. Olson.
OLSON STRAPS KATIE INTO AN ELECTRIC CHAIR
OLSON: Here we go!
OLSON REACHES FOR A LARGE SWITCH. DREBBIN AND HOCKEN ENTER.
OLSON: Oh, hi, Frank, Ed.
HOCKEN: Yeah.
OLSON: Why don't you run along, Katie? And next week, remember to bring three things from your mother's dresser.
KATIE GETS UP TO LEAVE
KATIE: Gee, thanks, Mr. Olson. Bye.
HOCKEN: Anything on the Mike Schultz case?
OLSON THROWS A LARGE LIGHT BULB OVER HIS LEFT SHOULDER
OLSON: The dead boxer? Well, there weren't many clues.
DREBBIN: Any prints?
OLSON: No, but we found some whiskers.
HOCKEN: Oh?
OLSON: Take a look in here.
HOCKEN LOOKS INTO A MICROSCOPE.
HOCKEN: Facial hair.
DREBBIN LOOKS INTO THE MICROSCOPE
DREBBIN: Yep.
OLSON: Hair is like fingerprints. No two follicles are alike. The strand on the left belongs to Schultz. The one on the right was found near his body.
HOCKEN: So, whoever belongs to that whisker is our killer.
DREBBIN: Have you identified him?
OLSON: Yes.
OLSON PICKS UP A SHEET OF PAPER
OLSON: It belongs to him.
DREBBIN (voice over): Luca Burnett was a five-time loser who was working for Montague Martin.
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EXTERIOR OF DREBBIN AT THE WHEEL OF A CAR
DREBBIN (voice over): Now I knew who was responsible for the murder, but I needed someone who wasn't afraid to talk. The next step was to work on Buddy Briggs.
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INTERIOR OF BUDDY BRIGGS' APARTMENT
BRIGGS OPENS THE DOOR FROM THE INSIDE
DREBBIN: Hi, Buddy.
BRIGGS: What are you doing here?
DREBBIN ENTERS AND CLOSES THE DOOR
DREBBIN: I'm your new manager.
BRIGGS: Hey, look, Buster. I don't know who you are or what you're trying to pull, but I work for Cooper.
DREBBIN: Not any more. And you don't go in the tank any more, either.
BRIGGS: I don't know what you're talking about.
DREBBIN: Alright, Buddy, play it stupid.
BRIGGS: I don't care, do you hear me! I don't want to end up dead in some locker room.
BRIGGS OPENS THE DOOR TO SHOW DREBBIN OUT. A DRUNK WOMAN LEADING A SAINT BERNARD IS IN THE DOORWAY. MEREDITH STAGGERS INTO THE APARTMENT.
BRIGGS: Meredith! Meredith, why aren't you waitressing?
BRIGGS GRABS MEREDITH BY THE ARMS AND SHAKES HER
BRIGGS: You've been drinking again, haven't you?
DREBBIN SITS ON A COUCH AND THE SAINT BERNARD JOINS HIM
MEREDITH: Yeah, huh.
BRIGGS: Mary!
MEREDITH: The only money you've ever earned is by throwing fights. You're not the man I married.
BRIGGS: How can you say that?
MEREDITH: Because here's the man I married.
MEREDITH OPENS THE CLOSET DOOR TO REVEAL A MAN BOUND IN A CHAIR.
BRIGGS: Mary, I love you. I'm trying to give you all the things you never had. A decent home, decent life, your own synagogue.
MEREDITH: You're never going to give me those things. And you know why? 'Cause you've got no guts. You're scared of Martin and Cooper. They own you!!
BRIGGS: Nobody owns Buddy Briggs!! Nobody!
MEREDITH: Don't lie to me! Every big fight you've ever been in, you've taken a dive. And you know what? You coulda been somebody. You coulda been a contender, instead of a bum, which is what you are.
MEREDITH OPENS THE DOOR AND WALKS OUT. SHE PEEKS BACK INTO THE ROOM.
MEREDITH: Muffin?
THE SAINT BERNARD LEAPS FROM THE COUCH AND FOLLOWS HER. BRIGGS CLOSES THE DOOR.
DREBBIN: Buddy, I'm here to help you. Now, do you think you can beat the champ?
BRIGGS: I can take him blindfolded.
DREBBIN: What if he's not blindfolded?!?
BRIGGS: I can still beat him.
DREBBIN SLAPS BRIGGS ON THE BACK
DREBBIN: I believe you. That's why I won you in the poker game. You fight on the up and up, you'll be able to look in the mirror and see a winner. You've been living in the dumps too long, pal. I'm going to help you and Mary get out of this sewer. C'mon.
DREBBIN OPENS THE DOOR
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EXTERIOR OF THE SURFACE OF A STREET AND A MANHOLE COVER
DREBBIN PUSHES THE MANHOLE COVER ASIDE AND CRAWLS OUT OF THE SEWER FOLLWED BY BRIGGS
DREBBIN: Alright, buddy. Now you meet me tomorrow at Morrie's Bar on Prospect. I'm going to get you a fight with the champ.
BRIGGS: Well, how you going to do that?
DREBBIN PATS BRIGGS ON THE SHOULDER
DREBBIN: You leave that to me.
DREBBIN WALKS AWAY
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EXTERIOR OF A NIGHTTIME STREET SCENE OUTSIDE MORRIE'S BAR
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INTERIOR OF MORRIE'S BAR
DREBBIN ENTERS. BRIGGS IS ALREADY SEATED AT THE BAR. DREBBIN APPROACHES AND PATS BRIGGS ON THE SHOULDER.
DREBBIN: Buddy.
DREBBIN SITS AT THE BARTOOL BESIDE BRIGGS. THE STOOL IS SO SHORT, ONLY DREBBIN'S FACE IS VISIBLE ABOVE THE BAR
BARTENDER: What'll it be?
DREBBIN: Screwdriver.
THE BARTENDER PRODUCES A LONG SCREWDRIVER FROM BEHIND THE BAR. DREBBIN USES IT TO JACK UP THE SEAT OF HIS BARSTOOL AND HANDS THE SCREWDRIVER BACK TO THE BARTENDER.
BARTENDER: Anything to drink?
DREBBIN: No, thank you.
BRIGGS: They sure got a lot of photographers here tonight.
DREBBIN: Yeah, I know. Is Cooper and Martin here?
BRIGGS: Yeah, they're sitting at the table with a couple of tramps.
CUT TO A SHOT OF MARTIN AND COOPER SITTING AT A BOOTH WITH TWO HOBOES, LAUGHING.
DREBBIN: Well, I think it's time to go and meet Mr. Big.
BRIGGS: His name is Mr. Maartin.
DREBBIN: Well.
DREBBIN WALKS OVER TO MARTIN AND COOPER'S TABLE
DREBBIN: Well, Cooper. Ya calling any bluffs lately?
COOPER: Well, if it isn't Mr. Kelly.
COOPER TURNS TO MARTING
COOPER: It's the guy I was telling you about. The guy who manages Lorne Greene and Johnny Cash.
MARTIN (to tramps): Go powder your noses.
THE TRAMPS LEAVE
MARTIN: Listen, smart boy. I own this town. You may have a fighter, but you're never gonna get a fight.
FLASHBULBS POP AND A FANFARE PLAYS AS THE CHAMP ENTERS THE BAR
DREBBIN: We'll see about that.
CHAMP: Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, I'm gonna break your face.
DREBBIN: Buddy Briggs could break every bone in your body.
CHAMP: Yeah, well, he must be a pretty good boxer.
DREBBIN: How would you know? You never won an honest fight in your life.
CHAMP: Hey, take it easy. Nobody wants to get hurt. Just cool off
DREBBIN: Why should I? The only reason your champ is because of guys lying down or dying.
CHAMP: Hey, let me buy you a drink.
DREBBIN: I wouldn't drink with you, you two bit phony excuse for a fighter.
CHAMP: You're just tired.
THE CHAMP PATS DREBBIN ON THE CHEEK AS BRIGGS APPROACHES.
CHAMP: You didn't mean it.
BRIGGS: Ahh, forget it.
CHAMP: Forget it!?! Nobody says "forget it" to me!!
THE CHAMP THROWS A PUNCH AT BRIGGS. BRIGGS BLOCKS THE PUNCH, HITS THE CHAMP AND KNOCKS HIM DOWN.
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EXTERIOR OF A SPORTS ARENA MARQUEE
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INTERIOR OF BUDDY BRIGG'S DRESSING ROOM
BRIGGS IS PLAYING A SAXOPHONE. DREBBIN APPROACHES AND TAKES THE SAXOPHONE FROM BRIGGS.
DREBBIN: Sorry, Buddy. No sax before a fight.
DREBBIN PATS BRIGGS ON THE SHOULDER.
DREBBIN: You nervous?
BRIGGS: Yeah, a bit. But I know I can take this guy. Nothing can stop me.
MARTIN ENTERS THE DRESSING ROOM.
DREBBIN: What are you doing here, Martin?
BRIGGS: Get outta here! I've gone straight!
MARTIN: If you're smart, you'll go straight to the canvas. In the twelfth.
BRIGGS (chuckling): Forget it.
MARTIN: We've got Mary.
BRIGGS: What?!?
DREBBIN: You're bluffing.
MARTIN: Oh, yeah?
MARTIN PULLS A SCARF FROM HIS POCKET
BRIGGS: Mary's scarf!
DREBBIN TAKES THE SCARF AND TOSSES IT AWAY
DREBBIN: He could have gotten that anywhere.
MARTIN PULLS A PURSE FROM UNDER HIS SUIT COAT
MARTIN: How about this?
BRIGGS: Mary's purse!
DREBBIN TAKES THE PURSE AND TOSSES IT AWAY
DREBBIN: There's millions of purses like that.
MARTIN PRODUCES A TOASTER
MARTIN: How about this?
BRIGGS: Mary's toaster!
TWO SLICES OF TOAST POP UP.
DREBBIN: My god!
MARTIN: In the twelfth, Buddy.
MARTIN TURNS AND LEAVES
BRIGGS: I can't believe it. I trained to win this fight. I can win this fight. Now I gotta lose.
DREBBIN SHAKES BRIGGS
DREBBIN: Buddy!I'll make a deal with you. I'll bring back Mary. You beat the champ.
DREBBIN TURNS, LEAVES THE DRESSING ROOM AND CLOSES THE DOOR
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EXTERIOR OF A NIGHTTIME STREET SCENE SHOT THROUGH A CAR WINDSHIELD AS DREBBIN DRIVES
DREBBIN (voice over): I radioed Hocken to get some men and meet me at the arena. If I wanted to put Martin and his monkeys behind bars, I had to find Mary fast.
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EXTERIOR NIGHT STREET SCENE OF A SHOESHINE STAND
A CUSTOMER GETS UP TO LEAVE AS DREBBIN APPROACHES. DREBBIN SITS DOWN.
DREBBIN: Johnny, I need some information and fast because there's a woman in trouble.
JOHNNY: You mean Mary the boxer's wife who was just kidnapped?
DREBBIN: Right. You know anything about it?
JOHNNY: Maybe I do, maybe I don't.
DREBBIN HANDS JOHNNY A BILL. JOHNNY POCKETS THE BILL.
JOHNNY: She's in big trouble. She's being held by Martin's goon, Luca.
DREBBIN: What's a goonluca?
JOHNNY: No, Luca Burnette. Martin's henchman.
DREBBIN: Right. Where are they?
JOHNNY: It's a big city. Could be most any place.
DREBBIN HANDS JOHNNY A BILL. JOHNNY POCKETS THE BILL.
JOHNNY: You want might to try Jim's Gym.
DREBBIN STARTS TO GET UP
DREBBIN: Thanks, Johnny. I'll be in touch.
DREBBIN LEAVES AND A MAN IN SURGICAL SCRUBS TAKES HIS PLACE.
SURGEON: It's a bypass operation, Johnny.
JOHNNY: So?
SURGEON: The guy has a history of ??????
JOHNNY: I wouldn't know anything about it.
THE SURGEON HANDS JOHNNY A BILL
JOHNNY: You got him on atropine.
SURGEON: Of course.
JOHNNY: Do a midline thoracotomy, strip the saphenous vein. Be careful not to puncture the myocardium.
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INTERIOR OF THE BOXING ARENA
SECONDS SEPARATE THE ROPES AS THE CHAMP ENTERS. A MICROPHONE IS LOWERED. IT HITS THE RING ANNOUNCER ON THE HEAD AND HE FALLS UNCONSCIOUS. ANOTHER ANNOUNCER JUMPS INTO THE RING AND TAKES THE MICROPHONE.
ANNOUNCER: Tonight's main event, fifteen rounds, for the championship of the world.
THE MICROPHONE IS RAISED. THE ANNOUNCER HANGS ONTO IT AND IS LIFTED OUT OF THE FRAME.
ANNOUNCER: In this corner, weighing two hundred and ten pounds, in the dark trunks, is the current champion, The Champ!
THE CHAMP: Jack and Jill went up the hill, I'm gonna break your face!!! I'm gonna break your face!!!
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INTERIOR OF JIM'S GYM
LUCA BURNETTE SLEEPS WITH HIS FEET PROPPED ON A DESK. MEREDITH, BOUND AND GAGGED, WHIMPERS AND STRUGGLES.
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EXTERIOR STREET SCENE OUTSIDE OF JIM'S GYM
DREBBIN DRIVES UP AND KNOCKS OVER TWO TRASH CANS AS HE PARKS. HE GETS OUT OF THE CAR, DRAWS HIS REVOLVER AND CLIMBS THE STAIRCASE TO THE GYM.
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INTERIOR OF JIM'S GYM
MEREDITH SCOOTS HER CHAIR AND BEGINS RUBBING HER ROPES AGAINST A METAL BEAM. DREBBIN OPENS THE DOOR AND ENTERS THE GYM. MEREDITH WIPES HER BROW WITH HER HAND AND RESUMES TRYING TO CUT THE ROPES. MEREDITH FREES HER HANDS AND STANDS UP. DREBBIN IS STEALTHING HIS WAY TOWARD LUCA. LUCA AWAKENS AND GRABS MEREDITH. MEREDITH SCREAMS.
DREBBIN: Police squad! You're under arrest!
LUCA: No way, Ray.
LUCA FIRES A REVOLVER AND BACKS HIS WAY INTO A STEAM ROOM WITH MEREDITH. DREBBIN MAKES HIS WAY TO THE STEAM ROOM. THE ROOM IS COMPLETELY FILLED WITH STEAM.
DREBBIN: Alright, Luca! I've got a gun in your ribs!
MEREDITH: I'm not Luca, and those aren't my ribs.
LUCA: Eat lead, copper!
TWO SHOTS ARE FIRED.
DREBBIN: Meredith, are you alright?
MEREDITH: Yeah
LUCA: So am I!
SEVERAL SHOTS ARE FIRED.
DREBBIN: How about now?
LUCA: Now? Not so good.
THE SOUND OF A BODY FALLING IS HEARD.
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INTERIOR OF THE BOXING ARENA
BRIGGS SITS IN HIS CORNER BETWEEN ROUNDS
RINGSIDE ANNOUNCER: We're about to start the twelfth round, and remember, Buddy Briggs has never gone the distance.
BRIGGS LOOKS OVER AT MARTIN. MARTIN STANDS UP, HOLDS UP A BLENDER AND POINTS TO IN KNOWINGLY. HIS SECOND PUTS IN BRIGGS' MOUTHPIECE. THE BELL RINGS AND BRIGGS GETS UP.
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EXTERIOR SCENE OF DREBBIN DRIVING WITH MEREDITH IN THE PASSENGER SEAT
RADIO ANNOUNCER: At this point, I'd say it could go either way. Both men are strong but tired, and one punch could end it at any moment.
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INTERIOR OF THE BOXING ARENA
BRIGGS THROWS PUNCHES AND LOOKS INTO THE CROWD NERVOUSLY.
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INTERIOR OF A BOXING ARENA CORRIDOR
DREBBIN LEADS MEREDITH BY HER ARM. THEY KNOCK A JANITOR SWEEPING THE FLOOR OUT OF THE WAY.
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INTERIOR OF THE BOXING ARENA
THE CHAMP LANDS TWO PUNCHES AND BRIGGS FALLS TO THE CANVAS. BRIGGS LOOKS UP AT MARTIN. MARTIN HOLDS UP A WASHING MACHINE.
REFEREE: One! Two! Three!
BRIGSS (mumbling through his mouthpiece): Mary! Mary!
MEREDITH (through a dream-like haze): Every big fight you've ever been in, you've taken a dive.
DREBBIN (through a dream-like haze): I'll get you a fight with the champ, and then maybe you'll be a winner. ...a winner. ...a winner.
MEREDITH (through a dream-like haze): There's no place like home. There's no place like home. Auntie Em. Auntie Em. And Toto, too. And Toto, too.
THE CHAMP: You'll always be a bum.
MEREDITH: Buddy!!
REFEREE: Seven! Eight!
BRIGGS JUMPS UP AND PUNCHES THE CHAMP, WHO FALLS TO HIS KNEES. THE REFEREE HOLDS HIS HAND IN FRONT OF THE CHAMP'S FACE.
REFEREE: How many fingers do you see?
THE CHAMP: Thursday.
THE CHAMP FALLS FACE DOWN, UNCONSCIOUS. THE REFEREE HOLDS BRIGGS' LEFT HAND ALOFT.
REFEREE: The winner!
BRIGGS IS CONGRATULATED BY HIS CORNER MEN.
BRIGGS: Mary!! Mary!!
RINGSIDE ANNOUNCER: How do you feel about the victory, Champ?
BRIGGS: Great!!! It's not only a victory for me, but for all of boxing, because I'd like to tell you about some cheap crooks who are trying to ruin the game!
BRIGGS POINTS OFF TO HIS RIGHT
BRIGGS: Montague Martin!
MARTIN STANDS UP TO LEAVE AND IS CONFRONTED BY DREBBIN AND HOCKEN
MARTIN: Kelly!
DREBBIN: The name is Detective Frank Drebbin, and I'm a boxing fan.
MARTIN: What the ...?
HOCKEN: Alrignt, Martin, you've fixed your last fight.
DREBBIN TAKES MARTIN BY THE ARM
HOCKEN: From now on, the boxers in this town will lose honestly.
DREBBIN LEADS MARTIN AWAY. MEREDITH MAKES HER WAY THROUGH THE CROWD, TOWARD THE RING.
MEREDITH: Buddy! Buddy!
BRIGGS: Mary!!
THEY HUG AND KISS
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EPILOGUE
INTERIOR OF THE SQUAD ROOM
HOCKEN IS SEATED AT A DESK, DRINKING COFFEE AND READING A NEWSPAPER. DREBBIN ENTERS.
DREBBIN: Hi, Ed.
HOCKEN: Oh, hi, Frank.
DREBBIN: Excuse me.
DREBBIN REACHES FOR THE PHONE ON HOCKEN'S DESK
HOCKEN: Yep.
DREBBIN DIALS A NUMBER.
DREBBIN (into the phone): Drebbin here. Give me, uh, Pete Prusing. Tell him I'd like to file a report on Martin and Sally Decker. Right.
DREBBIN HANGS UP THE PHONE. HOCKEN HANDS THE NEWSPAPER TO DREBBIN.
HOCKEN: Looks like we've got a new champ, huh?
DREBBIN: Well, looks like we can get back to reading the sports pages now.
HOCKEN: Speaking of sports pages, I see they're bringing your friend Martin in now.
TWO UNIFORMED OFFICERS LEAD MARTIN INTO THE SQUAD ROOM.
MARTIN: You think you're a big man, Drebbin, but I'm telling you, I'm gonna beat this rap!
DREBBIN: Don't count on that, Martin. Looks like you and your cohorts will be doing your boxing up at the Stateville prison from now on.
DREBBIN LAUGHS, AND SLAPS THE NEWSPAPER BACK INTO HOCKEN'S HAND AT THE START OF A FAKE FREEZE FRAME. SEVERAL SECONDS LATER, MARTIN LOOKS AROUND, TAKES HANDCUFFS KEYS FROM AN OFFICER'S POCKET AND FREES HIMSELF. A FROZEN OFFICER IS BLOCKING THE DOOR AS MARTIN TRIES TO LEAVE. MARTIN MAKES HIS WAY TO THE FOREGROUND OF THE SCENE AND DOES AN INVISIBLE BOX MIME ROUTINE.